Throwing tantrums

I was feeling a little emotional lately, and luckily I have some things that I can throw it to. Kids? No, yes.*sometime*..; it's my paintings and cooking. For paintings, I still maintained the soft colors not the bright angry or complicated colors like my life now. I painted some for customers and some as a gift to friends. My way of saying thank you!

For customer

My big canister

For Fairuz

For Kak Faridah

For Datin Faizah

And as for my cooking, anything that I could think of.. I made Quiche, chicken pie, chocolate cake, kebabs,layered sandwiches, tortillas and bread of course. How would I not be in my kitchen, I was at the Hospital with hubby for one month and a week. I was ever ready to cook for him. But I guess, the crazy crave will be over soon once my maid leave us for good.* sob*

Slices of chocolate cake

Quiche Lorraine

American chicken pie

A slice of chicken pie

Many a time I asked myself, why, we had to go through this test? What did we do to deserve this? Why can't we be normal, like we used to be? Argh!! I have to be positive and innovative to carry on life. But sometimes I was just not strong enough. I am a normal human after all. I guess it's normal for anyone in my situation to have sad feelings or have plenty of questions in our mind. And it's up to individual how they tackle it.

I do have sleepless nights or feeling awfully upset on what is happening.. Ya, maybe one of those bad days I went through with my kids. Or I simply picked on them to throw my tantrum. Every tiny winy things I got upset. I have wonderful kids, yes I do.. They contributed in their own different ways. But they are normal human too, they do make mistakes. It's just that, they got carried away with their own things...

My beloved kids, we need to be together! We are family and I need you guys.
In any case, family ties is important. A strong bonding between us will soon solve whatever we are facing, no matter what. I believe strongly that we will go through all this. Only time will tell us when.

This is life! When things happened, it stricken you awhile..until you get complacent with it, for life is not like a bed of roses.

A New Chapter

It's more than three weeks in the house back from the Hospital. Hubby was doing well, improving everyday. Though, slow but I was pleased of his progress. He was walking with walker instead of being on wheel chair. I would rather say, he was highly spirited at the beginning but slowly, he became sensitive and lacking.. Not easy, neither for him, nor for us. But we have to make him belief what's reality.

And me, a little extra work than before *not complaining* but a lot of time spent with him. I bathed, cooked, and feed him. And drove him to Hospital Damansara every three times a week for physio,and another three times for acupuncture. I guessed it's the physio that made him stronger and the right way to carry himself. Thanks to Aina *physiotherapist* actually, who had been very patient and giving him more confident.

Alhamdullilah, we had been blessed with people around us. I realized what had happened to us was a blessing. I came to understand the meaning of giving, sharing, and patience... in friendship especially. I could never forget the people who had been so supportive all the time in the ward. Megat, fairus, maziah, kak faridah and Abang Fauzi, and not to mention my other friends who had been visiting and bringing food for us each time they came. How I wished, I could name them one by one. To Steff, thank you for lending me the reclining chair that we used in Hospital Shah Alam. And Mala, who came all the way late night to lend me her wheel chair. Kak Non and Zaiton thank you, who never missed sending sms to comfort me. And many more thanks a million.

And for hubby's friends, and school mates, thank you, for accompanying him when he needed someone.

We were in crisis!

The date was 1oth April, Saturday night. My hubby and I attended Usrah at our surau when it happened! My hubby had an attacked, symptoms of stroke and heart. I was shocked!! I saw him refraining from the agony of severe pain, I wanted to faint. Friends from the surau sent him to the nearest hospital KPJ Specialist centre in Shah Alam. I was sent later. He was already in the emergency ward when I arrived and later to ICU. The CT scan showed negative of stroke neither problem of the heart. But the blood pressure rises. He could not move his hands and legs. My heart broke into pieces...could no longer hide my tears. I called my Sister Teh. I needed a shoulder to cry on..

It was a long night for me and the kids. I waited at the waiting room the whole night. It was creepy and... aah! for the sake of my love one I rather be there with him.

The next morning he did the MRI, three times..brain, spine and neck. He looked fragile,helpless but still smilling at me. Waiting for the results was like forever. My sister Teh and brother in law arrived from Ipoh. At least, I was stronger when the result came. The Neurologist told us that he had inflammation due to virus on his upper spine and the only way to treat is to inject him with steriod. He responded the steriod. He could moved his hands and legs but not in full action. But Alhamdullah! thanks to the Almighty. Three nights and four days in ICU. And I was going through hell!

Then, hubby was warded to the normal ward at fifth floor. He was back to his normal self, jovial and with high spirit to get better. Family and friends came visited and sending messages. We were deeply touched with the support they gave us.

I thought the worst had passed. They did the lumbar, taking the fluid from the spine but blood instead was seen. Again, I shivered with fear. He was then referred to Dr. Zurin from Damansara Specialist. Dr Zurin is a Neuro Surgeon and Spine. Hubby had to do another MRI in Damansara since it was not accurate in Shah Alam..horrible, he had to go through all that again.
I went with him in an ambulance to Damansara specialist centre. My cousin Megat and wife Fairus came later to be with me. Only god knew how thankful I was having such people who cared. But the result came the next day..

My hubby was diagnosed a very very rare sickness. It's called A.V.M of the spine.

What is A.V.M?
An abnormal communication between an artery and vein that may be present at birth or may from result from injury or infection. Blood may flow directly from artery to the vein, by passing the small vessels where oxygen and tissue nutrients are exchanged. These unusual malformations are often found in the brain and spinal cord, but may occur anywhere in the body...

Well, this information was printed by my hubby's friend professor Yip Cheng Har. Friends from old school got together at the hospital and giving opinion on how to treat him.

On the 20th of May, hubby was transferred to Hospital Damansara Specialist centre. Dr. Zurin suggested that he will undergo Embolization through Engiogram in two weeks time. Physio in Damansara was good under the care of Aina. Hubby exercised everday, but overworked. A few days later he had fever that never seemed to come down. It was the catheter, that course urine infection. He complaint blurr at one side of his eyes. Next day, C.T scan was taken and the result.. he had mild stroke. Ya, Allah, please give me strenght! I have to be strong for him...the procedure has to be done the next few days. He has to be fit.
It's all God's willing, hubby was fit to do the Embolization on Thursday night. Dr. Sabri from HUKM, a Radiologist who did Engio and Embolization. It was supposed to be five hours surgery and quite risky according to Dr. Sabri. My kids, Megat, Fairus, and my dear friend Maziah prayed hard for my hubby. We recited the Quran together. I called mum and dad to pray as well and some close family.

Three hours later, Dr. sabri and Dr Zurin came out of the O.T to break the news. It was a successful surgery. Alhamdullilah! Allah telah mendengar doa ku.

Twenty four days in Hospital Damansara specialist and nine days in selangor specialist centre. We went through difficult times and you know who your real friends are who listened and responded to your problem. Many would say 'be patient' ' we know how you feel' Honestly they have no idea what we 're going through. The emotion which is so difficult to describe. But real friends cared, they were always there for you to support and giving faith. Only Allah be able to repay their kindness and concerned.

Now, we are back home. Hubby is recuperating. All he need now is to boost his spirit to get better and with the support from us! Everything will be different now. From food, livestyle and more love. It has to be meaningful this time. Insyallah, may Allah give me strenght and patience to be able to help hubby back to normal.

Was in no mood to update my blog. Lots of events for the past 2 weeks, like weddings and outing with friends. Perhaps because I forgot to tag along my camera. But I had the patience to finish my big canister *or whatever its call* Itu pun, took me two weeks. And a jewellery box belongs to a dear customer.
It was in between running thru and fro sending my girl. Somedays, the time I arrived home left about one hour to spare for painting before I started to cook for dinner. It's half an hour drive to her college and another half hour to reach home. Well, I wasn't grumbling!! I want to make the best of it, do it with love. kalau tak, apa pun you buat tak berkat!
I cant describe the mess on my dinning table with all the painting stuff. This time couldnt be bothered to clear the mess or else I would not be able to finish my work.

My sis Teh and her hubby came on Wednesday. During her stay, I took her out for lunch at anjung merah. I had to drive her to Gullatis in SACC Mall in Shah Alam for baju Raya. And I ended buying one. She went back on friday morning.

Saturday night my hubby and I had some friends for dinner. Friends from Kemuning permai. They suggested kampong food. I cooked gulai tempoyak with petai, gulai nangka, terung masak siam, steamed taufoo, sambal tempoyak with ulam and roast beef. Hmm, lazat kan sampai menjilat jari. Ohh, ada dessert lagi, chocolate banana cake and crossant bread pudding. *sad* lupa nak snap photo. Kalau ada gambar mesti terliur!

Painting and 'A splendid Treat'

I had just came back from outstation for business trip with hubby. Never I was this glad to come home. Missed my babies so much especially my girl, we sms so often. And also my garden. Some of my plants blooming with colours. My orchids, never disappoint me though, I had waited long time, but worth waiting. I was glad to be home! Oh ya, I missed my laptop too. Wow, wee!! my sister teh's blog, yummy wonderful dessert. Very interesting nowadays, not only news travel fast, pictures too!





We went outstation on Monday until Thursday. It's another tiring journey, I was still coughing and having flu. We started the journey around 2 something in the afternoon and arrived around 6.30 evening. Checked into the hotel puteri Pan Pacific was no problem, since only last week we were there. We received a warmed welcome by the staff. And it's like a second home. The floor that we stayed, mostly all the rooms we had slept. We did the prayer 'jamak' and off we went out for dinner.

It was not a delightful place, but a small corner shop by the roadside. We were introduced to the spot by the locals. It didnt look inviting at all until we tried it. The food was fantastic. I loved the Char Kway teow and Nasi goreng ikan masin. It was tasty, you knew that nothing was left out. Should have brought my camera. Next time, I promise. It's not only posh place to show off but this tiny little place is something to brag about.

The very next morning we had breakfast at the Hotel. Tried to have as heavy as I could, which I know I can't. Anyway, didn't feel like going anywhere, so I tar pow two Danish pastry in my bag..Oops! shh! it's for my lunch laa.. Then hubby left for meeting. I knew it would be the whole day to myself and began to paint my big canister. I had prepared the basecoat before I went. I painted my favourite still life. Was happy indeed with the outcome, still a lot to be done.

We dine at Singgah Selalu which was close to the Hotel and very famous among the Hotel guest. Same things as usual as for the next day except that I roamed around the shopping complex, bought myself some tudung and a floor mat for my kitchen. And also t.shirts for my girl.

'Splendid Treat'
Hubby came back early. We watched American Idol. Fortunately we did not draw down the curtains. As I was mesmerized by a nice view, looking through the large window in our room...from sunset turned to night.
The city lights from dim neon to the brightest, slowly shone through the evening night.
As though celebrating our romantic moment together being created especially for us.
The ambience was enhance by beautiful music from American Idol 'The Rolling Stone Night' Gosh! What splendid colours!
A priceless and unforgetable experience. As a painter, I love those colours.
It was a wonderful moment. Again I missed this oppurtunity to share, if my camera was with me!

Down under the weather!

I was under the weather. Almost ten days. I had to rest on bed. Oh god! it choked me down the throat each time I swallowed and it's painful. Every part of my body ached. I had tonsilitis, dry cough and runny nose. I did see the doctor three times, and two courses of antibiotics and was asked to have complete rest. I was without my voice for several days.

Food was out of the question..no taste and smell. All I wanted was soup and sleep all day long. Tissues was scattered wherever I went as my nose was stuffy and blocked. My head was heavy like having a big stone on my shoulder. I hate to be like this, I dont practice this kind of lifestyle, lying on bed eeveryday long doing nothing. I need to be on my feet socializing, doing my favourite things, running my arrands etc,.. My son Syazwan who started the virus then followed by my hubby. But my other two kids, syafiq and fifa they are survivors somehow..they dont get sick easily, thank god!

I was touched as mum called a few times to know whether I was ok. She always sounded worried whenever her babies got sicked. It's a mum's job anyway. But sometimes, you never really thought at this age that you need your mum's lulluby. She had plenty of remedies to share. My son Syafiq teased by calling me "baby".

I recollected what my sister Teh mentioned in her blog 'the never ending love' how parents had been there for us. I know how it's like eventhough Granma had brought me up. Yes, with plenty of love...unconditional love. I missed her and grandpa sometimes, semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke roh mereka, Amin! But never once in my life I did not love my mum and dad. Maybe I was taught the right direction...thanks to granma!! I love my parents of course. Without you both I wont be in this world.

During the passed weekend my nephew Taqi slept over my place as we were all invited to my sister Liza in Subang Jaya.Taqi is rather closed to me as when he's a baby I took care of him most of the time. He was the big brother to all the cousins. And as he grew up and studied in kl he used to spent time with us until now. And since he's married to Mimi and has a little baby aydan,he' s more than welcome to the family.

My sister liza and family lives in Ipoh and has a house in subang which her daughter Dira stays.
She cooked Mee rebus, rice with pecal and fish curry . I brought pizza peperonni and apple pie.
My whole family were there except for my hubby..out dinner with friends. We got back around 11pm. Here are some pictures of baby Aydan and dinner at Sis liza's.

Baby Aydan

Taqi & Syazwan

My Pepperoni Pizza

Apple Pie

Ticket to Heaven

Like other people, I had many regrets during my past, for not being able to perform well as a person and muslim. And the do's and dont's that we did not understand, no matter how hard our parents taught us. All we knew that we wanted to look perfect or the best. We were more concerned of what other people think. We were being ignorant to the mistakes.
Malu, nak mengaku salah. Mana ada bumi yang tak kena hujan, dan mana ada manusia tak buat salah? We learned new things everyday. Be free to ask forgiveness from ALLAH. And I hope that God show us the right path.
And as we grew older, things were different..matured and wiser. And trying our very best this time to catch up what we had left.

And to start with, there are a few good tips we should practice in our daily life.
Being good, starts from the heart..think positive towards others.
Then, words ..that comes out of our mouth..make sure it does not hurt others!
And show concern..to one another, not only to our family but people around us!
And most of all do your prayers..that will save us from doing bad things!
Take this as the ticket to Heaven!!!
It's simple... dont you think? But it's hard to do, because bad habit hard to die!

Sempena kita menyambut Maulidul Rasul, marilah sama2 kita renungkan:
Rasulullah saw bersabda "janganlah bercakap melebihi zikrullah, sesungguhnya
banyak cakap akan mengeraskan hati dan bila hatinya telah keras, ia akan menjadi semakin jauh dari Allah"

My hubby and I never stop trying to be the best parents to our children Syazwan, Syafiq and Afifa. We taught them according to what we knew was right, then. There were disapointments and achievements along the way. I kept telling myself that life is not like a bed of roses. There're always test from The Almighty to make you stronger and a better person. There were times during my bad days with the kids, I confided who else, if not my hubby. But he kept on saying that his children are not robots. That I could tune them to whatever I wanted them to be. My hubby is the coolest man I've ever known, that sometimes I wished to scream on top of my voice to make him awake *melompat sama* or get him to be emotional. But he seemed so relaxed! Grrr...rr!!!
On second thoughts, he's the best for me! If not because of the encouragement he gave me, I could never be the person I am today. And my babies too, they are great kids, no matter what, I love you all so much!!! May Allah bless us all, Dunia and Akhirat. Amin!

Favourite past time

I woke up quite early to prepare breakfast. My niece Ida, her hubby and her cute daughter Alya had put two nights here and going back to Ipoh that morning. It's good to have them around. My hubby, I and my son Syazwan was invited to Zafran's engagement kenduri which was held in Klang at 11am. Zafran and Syazwan were friends since they were in primary 3. They studied almost the same course in University and worked in the same company. It was a special invitation from Siti, Zafran's mum who is my dear friend. We were honoured indeed as it was a personal affair that involved only closed relatives. Thank you Siti and family for inviting us!

Later that day, my three guys watched Dvd *Avatar..'the last Airbender' Cartoon*And that spoilt whatever plan we made for the day! Tv is my hubby's favourite past time especially animation movie. While my dear fifa baked Hot chocolate pudding. It was served warmed with white sauce and ice cream. As of late she enjoyed cooking for us. The last weekend, she made orange sponge cake, and asked whether I would like to snap photos of the food. He,he, lucky us..nice food and photos for my blog.

The guys watching dvd

Hot chocolate pudding

Orange Sponge Cake

I did not cooked dinner as we decided to eat out. My niece Dira who used to stay with us came to spent the night..*housemate balik kampong.* We finally went out around 10.30pm after a long haggle with my hubby as he was still watching the movie...3 season dvds altogather! But not the boys, they preffered not to follow.

Fifa and Dira

We spent almost the whole day at home the next day...continuation of the movie!!! There goes my Sunday. But as you know, free time is painting time for me! Here are some paintings which I have not varnished yet.

The unfinished paintings

Another food fiesta!

It had been a hectic week with heavy traffic on the road and big crowd in the supermarket as it was chinese New Year week. I did my usual routine,sending and fetching my girl and attended to some paintings that needed to be painted urgently. One of it was another cutlery box, from a friend of my sister who preffered red and some bright color roses. It's quite a challenge to me as I always did pastel. Whooh! what a relief when she finally text me that she loved the painting. Dont mention it, Dtn Faezah, it's my pleasure.





Fortunately, I managed to finish painting on time as my family from Ipoh wanted to have tea at my house on saturday. It has been always my habit to clear the mess from the previous project before I can even start to cook.

The Hi-tea was fixed after they watched Afc channel, they requested Mousaka and chocolate bannana cake. Naturally, I added some more varieties ..carrot cake, tortilla, and wanton Ho meehoon. For I guessed they must be hungry and would skipped lunch.
My sister Teh, her hubby and daughter Izian, and aunty Enda, cousin Chuwa, Anis, her hubby and kids came around 3 pm. We were remarkably loud, when we were among ourselves *bunyi riuh rendah sekampong, kalau tak tau, orang ingat bergaduh* especially cousin Chuwa who 's the loudiest of all. You never know who listened and who talked and did not take turn..everyone wanted to tell their side of the stories. But somehow, we understood each other very well and migrated from one topic to another.

The interesting part was, time to say goodbye, we smooched and kissed but still talking like never ending episode. It continued about 10 minutes and so. .then walking towards the car, took another 5 minutes???

The hasle from the cooking, laughing and chatting changed me from energetic, vociferous back to a lifeless being and with so many aches and pains.. soon after they drove off. *Catching my breath* According to my hubby, that's normal!!
The get-together will make us closer. That's what we want in a family!!!

Cousin Chuwa with the tall glass.

Tortillas & Mousaka

A slice of Chocolate Banana cake

Carrot with cheese topping cake and chocolate banana cake.

Trying to keep fit!

"Bila nak kurus?" I looked at my myself in the mirror and I keep on asking but hopelessly did nothing!! I have gained extra lbs for the past few weeks. What's happening to me? With the growing of enticing restaurant to select from these days, we eat out more often. I can't seemed to resist anything. Quite a number of times this month I had makan2 with friends, and during the night, out with my hubby to some coffee shop. And not to mention the times I had lunch alone somewhere at shopping mall after sending my girl to college. It's this period of the year I crave, really really craving for curry laksa. The last time I had was at Sri Melaka, before that at Papa Rich twice last week. Hmm, mana tak gemuk. Well hubby, you have to live with a fat wife!*sob* Oh no, no! I won't let it happen to me, never.

How many times do I need to be reminded to Eat well. I have failed each time I passed by any kopitiam that showed pictures of Curry laksa with cockles and maybe foo chuk in it. *Sigh* Sungguh lemah diri ku ini. But, Insyallah I'll start to cut down some calories tomorrow, maybe by doing exercise first, huh! I have been a fan to channel Zee(hindi) for sometime now, doing yoga and aerobic..*off and on*. For all you know, as we aged our movement is getting slower and so does our metabolism. That means, eat well and do the workout.Whatever... never give up! And have self control on anything that allures you like curry laksa, he,he.
Sorry, no picture of curry laksa!

Night out with hubby at Starbuck.

Painting? oh yes, I'm doing blue and white cutlery box for a customer. It's pretty cool I guess. And still unfinished. Somehow or rather painting has given me a wonderful feeling of satisfaction. And sure does give a relaxing and laziness after spending hours of sitting. Every part of your body ached. Fats start to show around my hip downwards. Anything you do, do it moderately.
This is the cutlery box and has not been varnished yet. Cool, huh!!

To Cherish Memories

Beside being with our love ones, life is never complete without friends. Going out for breakfast, lunch or tea twice a month is good enough. It's one of the way to release tension and makinggood relationship. I looked forward to outing.

There were times when we got together at our house. We cooked like mad, we served like mad even chatted like mad, and worst, we laughed like mad..(haru biru) But it's fun. Friends are for life!

I believe that body and mind go together. If both are in balance you can achieve best results in your life. Also getting enough sleep and tasty food and a good laugh with friends is priceless for the body and soul.

What's for dinner Ma..??

So, good food comes from our kitchen. Tasty or not is different thing, but you know its healthy. I enjoy cooking but sometimes I don't. Somehow, food has to be on the table. After flipping a few pages fr my recipe book, I ended baking bread. Focaccia. It is nothing special for my kids, as bread is baked once or twice a week (bila rajin, ha,ha.). Everyone in the family loves bread compared to rice. Tonight, I cooked roast chicken with salsa to go with my focaccia. So, take a look at what we had for dinner!!

Focaccia with roast chicken and salsa.

Burp!! Ops! enough for the night??
Help your yourself, with another slice!

Focaccia bread.

Bread with jam and butter.

My no 1. Celebrity!

Last Friday night, my son Syafiq decided to have barbeque with some friends.The menu were simple. Besides chicken and pasta salad I made chocolate cake and baked macaroni and cheese.

I was excited, know why?? The famous Yuna came to my house!!! The celebrity who won 2nd during the song festival recently. She was my son's classmate. And also a few more others who came that nite. Love her voice, will get her album in no time...mesti beli! Very unique in her own way. Thumbs up!
Well Yuna, next time I have to be in the picture..not syafiq!!